I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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