Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
