for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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