How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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