Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
