Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
