I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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