I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
