he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
