i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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