I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You pole danced in your parka.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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