There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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