Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
