So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
you inspire me to be a worse person
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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