CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
A bitchslap is in order.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
