I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
