my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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