Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
