Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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