when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
