1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Also, beer. Big fan.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
