even my farts smell like vagina
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
