uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
