Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
