Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
