we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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