I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You left your phone here
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