Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
