dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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