If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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