I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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