the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
