she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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