david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
