i don't like sucking hair
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
