she sounds like chewbacca in bed
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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