you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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