I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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