No stitches, just platelets and will power
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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