"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
