dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
