My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Randomize
