How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
