It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
