I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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