And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
