You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
