If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
i think my cat just said my name.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
