Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
How does it feel to date your dad?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
