What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
