They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
