its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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