Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
