god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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