I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
