did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
