I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
